When Compassion Feels Too Much

Tonglen is one of the most powerful meditations you can engage in. It's not a fluffy new age thing and it's not easy. It's not about trying to feel good.

It’s a practice of breathing in pain, your own or someone else’s, and breathing out relief. It’s about owning what’s hard to deal with in your life, without pushing it away.

Tonglen comes from the Tibetan Buddhist tradition, particularly rooted in the teachings of Lojong, or “mind training.” It’s a practice that reverses the usual habit of avoiding pain by consciously breathing in suffering and breathing out relief, cultivating compassion, courage, and connection in the process.

One of my clients has been doing this practice regularly. She’s committed. But every time she sits down with it, the emotions, flashbacks, trauma can come up very strongly. Some days she manages it. Other days, she can’t go near it.

It’s a raw and uncompromising practice that can revolutionise your life, but sometimes you’ve got to be willing to go through the fire. The ‘no gain without pain’ aphorism certainly applies here!

Tonglen asks a lot. And if you’ve got deep trauma sitting under the surface, it can sometimes bring too much up, too fast. In those cases, this practice isn’t always the right tool, at least not yet, and not on its own.

But when used with care and context, it creates something extraordinary. It reconnects you to your capacity for compassion. It softens what’s been rigid. It stops you from bypassing or suppressing what's real.

And yes, it’s uncomfortable. But the discomfort has direction, it moves you somewhere.

Below you’ll find a short recording of a tonglen practice. Do give it a go, but be warned, if you are suffering from heavy trauma, it might be worth giving me a call first.

You don’t have to do it every day. You don’t have to do it alone. That’s where coaching can be a support. It’ll help you hold the space better, move through what’s hard, and not give up when it gets heavy.

If that sounds like something you need, we can talk about it. 👉 Book a call here.

Guatemala Retreat Postponed
The Guatemala retreat has now been postponed until April 2026 due to delays getting the website live. I’ll update you with the actual dates as soon as they are available.

Upcoming Classes. Check out my website for details:

• Reiki Level 2 – 5th & 6th September

• Buddho Level 1 – 12th & 13th September

• Reiki Level 2 – 19th & 20th September

🖱️ Book your place via the site: www.stevegooch.co/courses

All the best,

Steve